The Luckiest

Yesterday was our 10th anniversary. JJ sent me a gorgeous arrangement of white roses even though he's all the way in Montana. Let's just say that he scored some major brownie points! I just can't stop looking at them and they are so fragrant.

We will celebrate when he gets back, which probably means sometime in September. At least it will be cooler then!!!

In honor of our special day, I thought I would share the lyrics to a beautiful song called "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds. I know that our marriage has nothing to do with luck. First and foremost it is a blessing from the Lord. Then it has been a wonderful journey and a lot of work that has been totally worth it. No luck about it. However, the song still communicates so much, I still love it.

And I love you, JJ!

The Luckiest Lyrics
by Ben Folds

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?
And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away
I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

A Whole 22 Hours

JJ finally got to come home this weekend! He flew in on Saturday evening and then left again on Sunday afternoon. It was great to have him home!!! We had to fit in a game of Skip Bo, which I had really missed. We used to play almost every day – either over my lunch break or in the evening. He was able to go to church with me on Sunday morning and it was nice to have him next to me the whole service (instead of preaching like he usually does.)

This week, he is in Wyoming. At least that’s where he is right now. I just got an e-mail from him saying that they may fly him out to another job later in the week. At least for a few days he is working with a quilt shop that also has an online store. I asked him if he could get me a discount. No word on that yet.

All is well on the home front. I actually lost over 3 pounds last week. What is up with that!? So I have definitely made my half way point now and have also lost 22 inches total. If it takes me the same amount of time to lose my second 37 pounds, I will reach my goal around Christmas or early January. Considering the holidays, it will probably be later than that, but I’ve been able to resist treats so far so you never know. Even if it’s not until early February, that will be the one year mark and I think that losing 74 pounds in a year is not too shabby.

Irony

One of the many, many reasons why I love my hubby is that we complement each other so well. As I mention in my profile, I am a "rule follower" and he's somewhat of a rebel. Occasionally, I recognize that I need to "let loose" and break a few rules. Maybe throw off my shoes in the middle of the floor with total abandon. (Gasp - can you imagine?) And accordingly, he at times benefits from my more organized nature. However, generally, he resists structure of any kind. Schedules? Doesn't follow them. My nice little "systems" that I dream up to help our lives run more smoothly? Ha! He scofs in the face of "systems"!

This is why I had a nice little chuckle yesterday when he e-mails me and tells me that he has to create a budget for a 2 million dollar a year company that he is working with this week. I'm sure he will do a great job, but if that company only knew what I know . . . But hey, now that I think about it, this might just work out just fine. We've never had any trouble actually writing a budget, just sticking with one. So maybe writing a budget that someone else will have to follow isn't such a tall order for him!!!

I'm a Loser

Hooray! After a few weeks of plateau I am a "loser" once again. I am now down 36 pounds and have one pound left before I am half way to my goal! I found I had to make an adjustment to when I was eating in order to get over that hump. I am now eating more at breakfast and my morning and afternoon snacks. This means dinner is rather small and no evening snack. I've been OK with a small dinner, but I'm really feeling the loss of that evening snack! On the nights where I just can't bear it, I have a cup of coffee or tea. Not the same, but it helps a little.

We're still not running the a/c at home and we've had a high of 103 degrees the last few days. I'm ready for September, to say the least. And the a/c in my car is now acting up. Well, I keep telling myself I'm preparing for Africa.

JJ's still doing OK, although starting to get homesick. He will probably finish the job he's on in Vermont on Friday and he MAY get to come home this weekend! I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but it looks like if he's in between jobs this weekend he'll come home on Saturday morning and have to leave again on Sunday afternoon. We're not sure where he'll head next. This job certainly keeps us on our toes! We appreciate your prayers while we are apart and JJ is traveling so much.

Where to start?

Well, it would be impossible to bring you all up to speed on all the goings-on around here so I'll give you the highlights.

JJ is in Vermont (well, actually right this second he's probably in Maine but I will explain that in a minute). He got a job with a company that does small business consulting. It is 100% travel and he left on July 4th for his training in Chicago. His first job was last week for a company in Vermont. He really enjoyed the work, but is exhausted. They work long days and he is getting very little sleep. Thankfully, this weekend, he was able to go see a friend of ours who is an intern this summer in New Hampshire. You know all those New England states are so close together so he drove down to NH yesterday and went to church with his friend today. Then they drove up to Maine to see the ocean and some lighthouses. He'll drive back to VT tonight and probably work on the same job there tomorrow but then they are probably going to send him off on another assignment - only the Lord knows where. Thankfully he will only be doing this until school starts at the end of August. He may even get to come home for a weekend in between now and then, but there are no promises.

Meanwhile, I've been trying to keep myself busy so that I don't throw a pity party (and I am The Queen of pity parties). But so far, so good. I had something going on every night last week (except Wed. when my stomach was feeling a little cruddy.) I caught both plays that ACU put on for the Shakespeare Festival, although the comedy wasn't Shakespeare at all (I still don't really get that.) But it didn't matter because the comedy, The Triumph of Love, was terrific. It was theater in the round and the set was great, the acting was great and it was a wonderful night of free entertainment and the air conditioning was plentiful (a very big factor for me since we still haven't turned ours on.) Saturday was the last showing of Romeo and Juliet and it was done in a more modern way. The set and the creative way it was used was fascinating - probably my favorite part about the production. The acting was also good, but the language less accessible. I'm not one of these super-intellectual types so I really don't get some of the flowery language. Maybe if I sat down with the script in front of me for awhile. Anyway, I still enjoyed it and again, it was a nice distraction.

The new church JJ filled in for a few times before he left is still taking good care of me. I decided to attend there while he's gone because it's a small group of believers where I won't get lost in the shuffle and they are very much a community, which is what JJ and I have been looking for. I will have to tell you more about our night of country dancing with them some other time. . .

Overall, we're doing great. As soon as he gets his first paycheck, even better. (Transitioning jobs really stinks because of that lag between checks!)

I'm learning all kinds of stuff in the Beth Moore study and am enjoying my quiet time with the Lord.

Now I'm off to catch up on all your news! When I took a hiatus from my blog, I have to confess I didn't really check up on you all either. However, I have repented and turned from my evil ways and, for what it's worth, will now be back on the scene.

I'm Coming Back - I Promise

I've been taking a little blogging break - I'm not exactly sure why. I just couldn't face my site for some reason. I had a little writer's block on a few posts I attempted, plus the fact that I have so much to catch up on I'm a little overwhelmed.

It may also have to do with the fact that JJ's taken a job that will keep him traveling possibly until school starts, which is another 7 weeks or so and I haven't wanted to put that in print. If I post it here, then it is really happening. I will have to supply details later, but I did want you to know that I will return to my usual blogging self shortly.

Enjoy your summer!

Too Much News

Well, I've not done a good job of posting this week, mainly because we went out of town Monday night and drove back Tuesday night and I've been trying to catch up ever since. JJ's granddaddy passed away and we drove to a town about 3 hours to be with the family. Everyone was doing surprisingly well and the service was a good one. We found out several things about granddaddy that we didn't know and it was great to look through some pictures and listen to stories about him. It turns out that he played football for Texas A&M and was apparently really good. That's one of those things you'd think you would know about someone, but he was very quiet and did not share a lot about his life.

It's funny how different families respond differently to grief. JJ and his brothers decided to go golfing the morning of the funeral because their granddaddy taught them how to golf on the course there in town. My mother-in-law and her sister always get their nails done when they get together so all the girls headed to the salon while the guys were on the golf course. At first I felt bad going when we were "supposed to be" grieving, but then it occurred to me that sometimes self-care is a good way to deal with stress. So we all got our hair and nails done. I finally got my hair cut after months of thinking about it - over 4 inches in length. I will have to post a picture when my father-in-law e-mails them to us.

There is much more news from this week, but I'm not sure I have the energy to go into it all. Let's just say that there have been some developments on the job front already, although they may be temporary situations. We'll just keep praying that we can get some kind of stability going soon. Transition is our middle name now and it is for the birds. I can't ignore, however, how the Lord remains faithful and is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow - even when my life changes every day!

Righty or Lefty?

I found this right brain/left brain test online and thought it would be fun to try. I was pretty sure I was left brained, but was surprised at how many answers I felt like I landed pretty "middle of the road" depending on circumstances. That's why these tests are hard to take. I start getting analytical and breaking things down. In such and such a circumstance, I'm like this, that or the other. (See how left brained I am?) Anyway, here are the results. Feel free to take it and come back to tell us all about your brain.

Oh, and if you'll notice, the percentages below add up to 108%. I'd like to think that has something to do with my intellect, but the test says it's because they measure each side separately. Whatever.

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (38%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (70%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

No Breaks for the Preacher Man

If you've been reading for very long, you've heard me mention the "Little Country Church". It's been a challenge serving there from day one because it never was a really good fit for us. I could go into a lot of detail here, but I think I'll spare you and just say that we will now no longer be going back to that church. We wanted to leave and find a place where we were better suited, but the way this all went down was still painful. We don't quite understand what happened, as the best reasons they could come up with were that JJ said "I think" too much, he spoke too softly, and I had stopped coming with him for the past few weeks. The preachers that had come in the past often did not bring their wives and so we didn't think it was a problem.

So now we're stuck in a double delimma. We need some income and we need a church home. JJ started working in a hotel last week and I really won't go into detail here. Let's just say that this job is less than ideal. We think that we'll have enough "fill in" preaching jobs to get us through the summer, but this is not ultimately what we want. We want a community. I am praying that this is one of those times when I cannot see an easy answer but the Lord is saying, just wait, I've got it solved. Beth Moore said in one of her videos from "A Heart Like His" that sometimes when we pray we feel we need to offer the Lord solutions to our problem - like he needs our help. Well, Lord, I don't have any suggestions and you don't need them anyway.

Please send a prayer up on our behalf today. JJ's situation is a little tricky because he's got to find something he can do while taking a full load of master's level courses in a town where the job market just stinks in general. Frankly, we are just tired. Tired of trying to make ends meet, tired of trying to find a church body where we "fit", tired of transition, tired of not knowing. I know we need a little perspective. All I need to do is go look at my teammate Kevin's blog and see how much people are struggling in Mwanza, Tanzania just to make it through the day. But that doesn't change my reality and that is that we still have a problem that needs solving. And just a few days ago I posted on how God is bigger than anything we face. I know this is true. It's just hard to wait.

Patience, Mary, Patience

I hope you all don't get sick of Beth Moore by the time I'm done with this study, because I have a feeling I'll be sharing quite a bit about David in the next 8 weeks or so. Last night in our group, we started talking about preparation and how many of the "heroes" in scripture had a time of growth and being with the Lord before they were called to do what they are so famous for. Obviously, David was the first one who came to mind since we're studying him. Think of how many hours he had alone with God when he was out tending those sheep. Many of the Psalms were written during this quiet time in David's life. He also got to practice his "battle skills" on the lion and the bear!

Think about Moses and the years he had to spend as a shepherd before the Lord sought him out in the form of the burning bush. Those shepherding years were certainly not as thrilling as parting the Red Sea, and yet, they had to come first so that Moses would be ready for that very moment. Samuel was raised by the priest Eli - what better preparation could he have than that? And the list goes on and on. Even our Lord Jesus had quiet times to be with the Father and "refill his cup".

So what's the point? The point is something that I needed to hear and I hope it's something you can use too. JJ and I feel a bit stuck because we want to be in Africa. We felt that the Lord was calling us here for JJ to continue his education and so that we would be better prepared for the field, but sometimes it's just hard to wait. But then I think of all these great men and the times in their lives that they were waiting for bigger things. They didn't know what was coming their way. They didn't know what they were being prepared for. The truth is, neither do we. But I can trust in the Lord's perfect timing and his plan for us - that when we're ready, He's going to use us in a way that will glorify Him. And I can be looking for ways that He can use me today, even in the middle of West Texas. Now if I can just get my head out of the sand so I can respond when he calls . . .

I've Got Mail!

I added a little something new today that you probably wouldn't notice if I didn't point it out. You can now e-mail me to a new account I set up just for my blogging friends! The address is heart4tz@yahoo.com (tz is Tanzania) and you'll find the "e-mail me" button when you click on "view my complete profile". I wanted to be more accessible in case anyone wanted to send me a message that they might not want posted for the entire world to see. (Of course, this is assuming that more than 5 or 6 people read this site and I'm pretty sure that's not the case!) Anyway, e-mail me! I'm listening!

I Did Survive

Well, as you can see from my lack of posts this week, it was a busy, crazy, very full week. This was week 2 of the Doctor of Ministry students being in town, which means it was the second week of taking care of housing, food, and general class stuff. It was also moving week for our office. My boss likes to point out that "move" is a four-letter word. You would think that moving down the hall would be simple enough, but we found out that this was not the case. But you know, we survived and all is almost back to normal in our little corner of the world.

Apparently, not only did I survive, I also lost 3 lbs. these past 2 weeks. How I managed to stay away from the donuts, muffins, danish & cookies I served these past few weeks I will never know. I only have 1 more week of having to purchase and serve all the yummy foods I cannot eat. If I made it this far, I can make it one more week. I drank a lot more coffee, that's for sure (mostly decaf because caffeine dehydrates you - did you know this?) Of course, I ignore this little fact when I indulge in my daily dose of Diet Cherry Coke. A girl has to have her vices.

So here's the big picture:




Do you see that? 30 pounds! Yikes! And, I did do a tiny bit of shopping last night and found out that I am 2, count 'em 2 dress sizes down! (And the crowds go wild!) Thank you very much!

More from the Giant-Slayer

David & Goliath is such a familiar story and yet I really got so much out of it when we studied it in this Beth Moore series. Another verse that struck me was I Samuel 17:37. David is talking to King Saul, convincing him that he can take Goliath on. He has "practiced" on a lion and a bear that attacked his sheep and he says, "The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." This is another great "fill-in-the-blank" verse that we can draw on. I could say that the Lord who delivered me from unemployment will deliver me from job stress. Or the Lord who delivered me from the dilemma of what ministry our family should be involved in will deliver me from the uncertainty of the decisions we need to make in that very ministry! How would you fill in these blanks?

My God is SO BIG!

Last Monday night, I started the Beth Moore study "A Heart Like His" about the life of King David. I only know 2 of the ladies there since it's at a church that I don't usually attend (one girl is a friend that JJ goes to school with and one is my neighbor that I invited to come along), but I'm looking forward to getting to know other ladies in the group.

My favorite lesson this week was the lesson on David and Goliath. One verse jumped out at me. I Samuel 17:45 says, "David said to the Philistine, 'You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.'" You know what I thought when I read this? I thought of the obstacles facing me this week and jotted down this sentence in the margin of my workbook: "Satan, you come against me with a stressful move (we're moving offices tomorrow), 20 men who will need my attention (Doctor of Ministry students who are starting classes this week), a continental breakfast that I'm doing for 3 weeks in a row, and the fear of failure - BUT I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty! Beth puts it this way: "measure the size of your obstacle against the size of your God". Well, when you put it that way, the score is obstacle, itty-bitty microscopic crumb vs. my move-a-mountain, resurrected Lord of all creation. No contest!

A Walk Down Transparency Lane

Oh-so-brave Melodee posted pictures of her drivers licenses, what weight she claimed to be on said licenses, and what her actual weight was at the time. While I have a selective memory and choose not to remember the poundage of each of these precious moments, I decided it would be fun to post a similar reminiscence of my licenses from many different states. Actually, some of these go back to high school, and while I cannot find my license from back then, I do have my activity ticket photos. So join me in my journey down memory lane. . .

This first photo is of me in the fall of '90 when I was a junior. I had never in your wildest imagination been what you call a "bean pole", but this is the year that I started putting on more weight. It got progressively worse as the year went on. So near the end of that school year, I decided it was time to put a stop to that and I started doing aerobics tapes at home and did the Slim Fast thing. I wouldn't recommend it as I've heard it's not very healthy, but it worked for me at the time, because as you can see, I'm quite a bit slimmer in my senior activity card picture. (BTW, you can also see why I've never cut my hair short again. This is THE most unfortunate haircut of my entire life.)

Although it is a bit fuzzy, I promise, this really is me. I can hardly believe I was ever THAT skinny. I think around 120 - 125 lbs. JJ says I look too skinny. I'm inclined to disagree. I don't know if I'll ever be there again, but how realistic is it to be able to get back to what I weighed in high school? I'm not putting that kind of pressure on myself. I set my goal at 130. If I get there and I'm happy with how I look, hey, it's just a number, right?
I stayed right around this weight for several years. But then I got married. (No blaming here, just the facts, ma'm.)



This is my driver's license photo from the state of Maryland, where we moved in 1999. Love those giant spectacles.









This is from my Missouri license in 2002, I think. (Correct me if I'm wrong here, mom.) I'm still surprised at how thin my face looks, even though you're able to see the beginnings of a double chin. I think I must be carrying my weight outside the boundaries of this pic, because on my license I have listed 170 lbs. I think that was pretty accurate.







This is where things start getting scary. This is my Kansas license from 2003, I think. Love those bangs, and now there's no doubt about that double chin goin' on. It says I weigh 130 lbs., but I'm thinkin' that was left over from my info. I gave them on my previous KS license because 1) there's no way that I'm 130, and 2) there's no way I would have fibbed THAT BIG.



Folks, this is when telling the truth is NOT fun. This is my most recent, Washington state license. (No, I haven't gotten a TX license yet. So sue me.) And now I'm not tellin' the weight because that hits just a little too close to home! I mean, I'm all for transparency, but there's a limit, OK?

I will survive

My glorious, handsome, oh-so-sexy husband decided to share this little gem with me today. I definitely think you guys should watch this video.

(Can you tell that JJ wrote this himself? Of course I think he's handsome and oh-so-sexy, but doesn't this post make more sense knowing he wrote it?)

Good Morning, America!

I found out this week that Good Morning America has been doing stories on LA Weightloss. So Wednesday, when JJ and I went to weigh in, one of the girls came up to us and asked if she could submit our names to possibly appear on the show! They are specifically looking for couples who are doing the program together. Would that not be the coolest? I must not get my hopes up. (But it would be a neat experience, wouldn't it?)

Speaking of weight loss, Melodee at The Amazing Shrinking Mom is hilarious. If you have ever battled with emotional eating, you need to read this entry. Not only is she a very gifted writer, she also has this uncanny ability to tell the TRUTH!

Show and Tell

As long as I'm sharing pictures, I'll post another. This is my latest mosaic, a picture frame I made for a recent graduate. After I finished, I wished I had used yellow grout instead of sand colored. I think it would have made it "pop". But overall, I'd say it turned out pretty well and the girl I gave it to seemed to like it, so I'd call it a sucess. Now, what will be my next project?

I Do Exist!

OK, I finally got the pictures back from the disposable camera that I was using and, as expected, many of them did not turn out well. I did manage to salvage a few. But the pictures I was most excited about did not get printed out at all. JJ and I took some "progress pictures" every couple of weeks to chart our weight loss and his came out but mine didn't. (Hey, I smell something fishy here. . .)

Anyway, since I do finally have some pictures to share, I thought I'd include a pic from JJ's birthday dinner at Red Robin. This was taken at the end of March, so we've lost several pounds since then, but I'll post it so that those of you who do not know me will now have a face with a name. (Interesting how after I've gone on and on about our weight loss the first picture I post is of JJ eating his birthday sundae! But hey, if you can't have a few bites of ice cream on your birthday, when can you?)

My Social Fix

Since moving here in December, we have not had nearly the "hang out with friends time" that we have gotten in the past. Pretty much everywhere we've moved we've had people to play cards with, watch movies with or just talk, talk, talk. It's been a bit harder here because we have not been "plugged in" to a church family. But this past weekend was just so great - it really "hit the spot" for JJ and I.

Friday night we went swimming in our complex's pool. We waited until the sun went down and just floated in the water, looking at the stars. It was really relaxing and nice to get off the couch for a change!

Saturday, we met some friends at a coffee house nearby because one of the guys is going up to NH for an internship this summer and it was our chance to say goodbye. This was the highlight of the weekend. Some of the folks who were there I'd spent some time with and some were fairly new to me, but it was a great mix of people. We talked about some "graduate school" kind of stuff (which I can usually follow for awhile anyway) but then some goofy stuff too. We actually had a little mini sing along of some favorite Muppet's tunes like "Rainbow Connection" and "You Can't Live With 'Em". (Rolf the Dog sings this one in one of the movies. I can't remember which one.) It was so nice to find some people who are just as cheesy as I am. Very rarely as an adult do you find people you can really be silly with! Then we went over to one of the girls' houses to talk some more! I actually stayed awake until 11:30. That's big. (It may have something to do with the nap I got in on Saturday afternoon!)

Then Sunday, while I sent JJ off to the Little Country Church, I went to church with a friend of mine here in town. JJ MADE me go because I needed a break from LCC - I still felt guilty that he had to go without me. But it was one of the Sundays when they don't do Sun. night service so he got to come home early. Anyway, I had a GREAT time in class. They have a women's class that involves a lot of sharing, etc. You know the kind. Oh, man, have I missed that. If you have that wherever you are, hold on to that and be thankful!!! I wish I could go there every Sunday. Then, I went to the new Chili's in town with some friends after church. Then JJ and I went swimming again that night. An all around great day.

Memorial Day I worked (I chose to take the holiday early so I could visit my family). But, some friends invited us to a barbeque at their house last night and we had a great time there, too! They have a pool in their backyard and we had a lot of fun playing with the kids and just watching them have a good time. So even though I had to work, it still felt like a holiday. This was one of those weekends that I could repeat again and again and not get tired of it. It was a real blessing. It reminded me that it's worth the extra effort to reach out to people and find a place to belong. It's harder, but life is so much richer. I know that this is at least a glimpse of the kind of community that the Lord intended.