1 Corinthians 13, Christmas Version

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not show love, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and crocheted snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir's cantata but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.

Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband.

Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't.

Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

Less Than 20 Pounds to Go!

Hooray! When I went to weigh in yesterday, I found I only have 18 more pounds to lose. That is amazing. I look at myself in the mirror and while I can see how far I've come, it sure is tempting to say that I probably need to lose closer to 30. But we'll see when I get there. I certainly don't want to get into that trap that says I'll never be skinny enough and never have that perfect body that I think in my mind I should have. After being 74 pounds overweight, if I have a few little lumps and bumps, that will be OK with me!

So here's the big picture:

Thanksgiving Weather

I wish I could take credit for this little forecast, but I have to admit that I got this in my e-mail today and thought it was cute. We do give thanks for the many, many ways in which we were blessed this year, but you just can't ignore these other aspects of Thanksgiving! (And by the way, I'm not too proud of my last post - griping and complaining about our finances when we've been blessed so richly. Sometimes, though, you just need to get real and admit when you've lost focus.)

So without further ado . . . here's Thursday's weather forecast:

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an afternoon high near 190F. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy.A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway.

During the evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

Enjoy!

Lies - It's All Lies!

JJ and I are struggling financially this month. Next month doesn't look a lot better. I know that the Lord will be with us in this tight pinch, but it doesn’t mean that He won’t let us go broke. It’s just a little scary.

It’s so frustrating because JJ is working as hard as he can and we still come up short. I'm working full time and contemplating another part time job, but I don't feel like I could take care of things around the house and keep up with paying the bills on time and juggle everything else I'm trying to do AND work 60 hours a week.

We’ve been struggling for what feels like so long. It’s OK when you know it’s short term, but we’ve been trying to get out of debt for several years now with very little progress. We’re getting tired. Just when we feel like we’re making headway, something else like having to buy another car comes along. I’m sure many of you can identify.

I just have to keep reminding myself that no one ever promised me anything in life – I don’t know why I expect so much. Our culture tells us we can (and should) have it all, but that is a lie from Satan. And the fact that having it all would even be fulfilling or make us happy is a big fat lie too. I really wish that I could say that I have learned to be content in all circumstances like Paul. Man, why can’t I beat this mentality? Satan is just good at what he does, isn’t he?

A "Tommy Boy" Moment

If you've ever seen the movie Tommy Boy, then you're sure to remember the part when Tommy and Richard are driving down the highway crying and singing the Carpenter's song, "Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby?" Then out of the blue, the hood of the car flies up and they almost get killed swerving in and out of traffic. Although very dangerous in real life, this scene is hilarious in the movie.

Well, our experience Wednesday night had only one thing in common with that scene. We were not crying (although we sure wanted to afterwards). We were not listening to the Carpenters (I believe it was NPR). But the hood of the car DID indeed fly up and hit the windshield of the car as we were going 70 down the highway.

Thankfully, no one was hurt. The windshield did not shatter. We did not have to swerve in and out of traffic in a dangerous and hair-raising way. Although I did scream. JJ, however, remained cool and collected (thankfully, he was driving) and calmly slowed down and steered us off the road.

We called for some help from some folks at church (we had just left there and were not far from the building) and they came and helped us get the hood back down. There had been some bolts missing from the piece that the hood actually latches onto and it was very loose. We just cannot figure out how that happened. We only bought the car (used) 2 months ago. I cannot believe that in 2 months time those bolts loosened up and fell out on their own.

I am trying to keep this in perspective. The Lord protected us and no one was hurt. There is extensive damage to the hood, but the car drives just fine. But, our insurance does not cover the damage and the dealership, as expected, is saying that this is not their problem. So it looks like our beautiful new (used) car will just have to live with its scars for quite awhile. Maybe forever.

There are much, much worse things in life. I just wish we could have a bit of a break to recover financially before we get hit again. and again. and again.

Weigh-in results - as promised

Well, after 2 days of Take Off (LA Weightloss intensive 2 day kick-in-the-behind regimen), I lost another pound. So here's the latest:



Wow! What a mile stone! It's such great news that I won't even ruin it and tell you the really scary, very expensive thing that happened to us last night. Not yet. And just so you don't worry, everyone is OK. No injuries. Just very expensive repairs.

A Great Success

Last night, our little church that averages about 20 on a Sunday morning pulled off a Fall Carnival that was attended by over 100 children and we have no idea how many parents! Everyone put so much work into it and we were blown away by the turnout. It was encouraging for our little family to invest so much time and energy into something that was enjoyed so much by the community. Since we are in a new building, it was great for the community to see us where we worship, doing what we do best - ministering to kids. We have so many members in our congregation who are teachers or involved in the school system somehow that kids have really become our main ministry focus.

I did the clowning thing and dressed up as "Chipper". Balloon animals were enjoyed by all. I was impressed by the other adults in the congregation - almost everyone had a costume. Many adults are too embarrassed or too "grown-up" to dress up. I think this is exactly why we should do it. We just do not "play" enough as adults and Halloween is a great excuse to do just that! Some of the costumes I saw were a BIG smiley face, a Hershey's kiss, a scarecrow, a "spelling" bee, Elvis, biker dude and chick, Rambo, and a farmer. And of course, the kids' costumes were lots of fun too.

And best of all, I did not have a single piece of candy, cupcake (even though I baked and decorated 4 dozen), or cookie. Way to go me! The LA Weightloss thing is still going strong. JJ and I did a special 2 day "Take Off" on Sunday and Monday and I haven't been able to weigh in yet, but I will post my progress as soon as I weigh in. Stay tuned!

Special Effects

I was sitting at my computer at work today, typing away when all of a sudden, I noticed a lot of movement on the wall behind the monitor. The wind had picked up quite a bit (as it often does in West Texas) and the shadows of the trees outside my window began to dance and put on a great show. I had to stop for a second just to enjoy the play of light and then to watch the trees themselves bob and sway in the autumn wind.

I had to stop and thank God for the free special effects that he brought to my day. No Hollywood, $9 movie ticket, or obscenely priced consessions necessary.

Creative Costuming

I had to share this idea I found online today. I found out that a party I'm going to tonight is costume-optional. I hadn't even THOUGHT about costumes this year because I'm going to be a clown for our church's carnival on Halloween so I had to find something quick and easy. I looked online and found a super easy costume idea. I wish I could say I thought of it myself. I am dressing up as "partly cloudy with a chance of rain". How are you going to pull this off, you ask? Why, I'm glad you asked!

I'm going to wear a blue shirt and pin cotton balls randomly on it. Then I will carry a squirt gun around and I may or may not squirt the people around me when they ask what I am!

I think my favorite costume of all time was when I dressed up like Mimi and JJ was Drew Carey. We were supposed to insult each other all night, but (thankfully) neither one of us is very good at insulting the other. It was still a cute idea. And the bright blue eye shadow and neon blue and pink moo moo was very attractive.

Are any of you dressing up this year?

Campaign for REAL Beauty

A friend of mine sent me an e-mail the other day about Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty. They have a video on their website about the "before" and "after" picture of a model and all that went into making that final gorgeous billboard of her look absolutely nothing like the woman she started out to be.

It really helps you to see how unnatural the images are that we are innundated with every day. We scrutinize and frown at that reflection that we see in the mirror every morning because we're comparing ourselves with a standard that is so unrealistic and preposterous.

So how about thinking about your best features today and appreciating the beauty that God made you to be! It's a challenge, especially when our enemy is a great liar - the best - and he tells us whoppers about ourselves every day. Don't let him do that to you! And maybe you can send the link of the Dove video to a friend that may need some encouragement to appreciate her unique beauty.

A Whole Lot Shakin'

Well, our little country church suddenly has a full plate! We had quite an opportunity that we couldn't pass up and so now we are in the process of closing on a new building. We've been renting and so now we'll have a place of our very own. The church is only a few years old and everyone is really excited. I'm happy for them, but I also wonder why it is that we sometimes feel we need a building in order to be a legitimate body of believers? I know there are pros and cons to both sides and honestly as far as our church goes I have my opinion but because JJ and I are so new there, I care more about the church making a harmonious transition than I do about the actual decision to buy the building.

We've also recently started a Wednesday night children's ministry. That's been fun, but quite a challenge since there are not many of us. As a small church, we tend to fly by the seat of our pants rather than plan things out very much, mostly because we can get away with it. I hope people don't wear themselves out because the kids enjoy it so much and get a meal out of the deal too!

We're really hoping to be in the new building by Halloween because we're going to do a "Trunk or Treat" and a carnival inside. I'm going to do a little clowning around since I know how to make balloon animals and juggle (sort of). When I'm a clown I can get away with dropping the balls a lot when I juggle since it makes it funnier anyway! So we've got lots of prep to do before the 31st. Anyone have any ideas on cheap and easy carnival games?

How 'bout some shrimp on the barbie, mate?

Today JJ starts his first official shift at Outback Steakhouse. So now he's a full time graduate student, a part-time minister (which means Sunday am, pm and Wednesday pm responsibilities), AND he'll be working 5 shifts a week "down under". How is he going to do this, you ask? GOOD QUESTION. Sometimes, when you need to do it to pay the bills, you just do it.

I feel bad that I'm just here working my safe little 8-5 job, but someone has to do the laundry, the dishes, pay the bills, and make sure that our family functions, at least on a basic level. (I never claimed our house was tidy or that I am the next Betty Crocker, mind you.) I contemplated waiting tables too, until I realized it really wouldn't do for us BOTH to be working ourselves into the ground. Someone has to be there to pick up the pieces later (ha, ha)!

And there's LOTS going on at the church where JJ's been serving and I'm really enjoying getting to be a part of things there. I'll have to fill you in on some of the details later, but for now, I'll just say it involves a new building, lots of kids, and a little clowning around.

Torn

I have not been motivated to post lately and it occurred to me this morning for the first time why that might be. Maybe instead of feeling bad for not keeping up with my site, maybe I need to put this on hold for awhile so that I can focus on some other things in my life. I did spend a lot of time thinking about posts, posting, and looking at other people's blogs. And while I see some value in this and make no judgements on others for their "blogging habits", I know that there are some areas in my life that really need more attention right now.

Time management is a real issue for me. I watch too much TV and spend too much time doing very little. Being an introvert, it is difficult to reach out to people in my life and foster the kinds of relationships that I know that I not only want, but also really need. Not to mention the fact that I know that I am not called to live in a bubble, but to be God's light in the world.

There is a lot more to this discussion, but I thought I would put these few ideas out there and see what you think. I do feel conflicted about the whole thing because I do see how blogging can help to keep you connected with people and this is obviously one of my goals. This is going to require some prayer and time to think this all through.

How much time to you all spend blogging? Why is it valuable to you?

Warrior Princess

I just found out this week that I have a new nickname. Never had many cool nicknames. My dad sometimes calls me "Pete", which I kind of like, but it's not one of those things that many people know about. But one of the faculty members notified me after coming out of a meeting that my new name is officially "Mary the Sukuma Warrior Princess". I don't know how this came about, but it is kind of catchy isn't it?

For those of you who don't know, the Sukuma tribe is the tribe that JJ and I hope to be working with when we go to Tanzania. They're a very peaceful tribe overall, and I hear pretty laid back, but the whole warrior princess thing does have a nice ring to it. Now I just need to find a cool costume to go along with it. . . maybe some war paint. That could be fun. . .

School Days

Ah yes, the first few weeks of school. I always loved the beginning of a new school year. Getting to know a new teacher and seeing which classmates you would be with all year was always exciting for me (even though it got more scary as those terrible middle school years arrived). I think one of my favorite things was new school supplies. I don't know what it is about paper and pens and notebooks - I still love buying all that stuff! And this year, I'll actually be back in class again!

OK, so I'm only auditing one class, but I'm still excited! JJ's taking Church Planting on Tuesday nights and since it's a night course I decided to join him. I am quite nervous since I've never taken a master's level course before. I'm a little worried I'll make a fool out of myself, but you know, if I do, it won't be the first or last time!!!

So wish me luck. And just maybe I'll learn something in the process!

He's Ba-ack!

Yes! JJ is once again home. Back where he belongs. It's very nice to not be living alone any more!!! And of course, to have someone to play Skip Bo with again!

For those of you who may be a bit behind (like me since I haven't posted in FOREVER), JJ's been gone since July 4th doing some small business consulting. He's never done this type of work before and it ends up that he actually likes it! Well, he likes working for the client. As for dealing with the corporate offices, not so much. So he and a friend are looking into the possibility of doing some consulting on their own and this way, JJ might actually be able to work and go to school at the same time. Especially since he's taking 10 hours this semester rather than the completely nutty 15 that he took last semester. Anyway, they're still in the very early stages of examining the possibilities of consulting on their own so we'll have to pray and see what happens.

As for me, I've been up to the same old stuff. I'll have to share later about some exciting things going on at church. But I'm going to try and get back in the saddle again. I have a lot of reading to do to catch up on all your goings on too! Hope everyone had a great summer!

The Luckiest

Yesterday was our 10th anniversary. JJ sent me a gorgeous arrangement of white roses even though he's all the way in Montana. Let's just say that he scored some major brownie points! I just can't stop looking at them and they are so fragrant.

We will celebrate when he gets back, which probably means sometime in September. At least it will be cooler then!!!

In honor of our special day, I thought I would share the lyrics to a beautiful song called "The Luckiest" by Ben Folds. I know that our marriage has nothing to do with luck. First and foremost it is a blessing from the Lord. Then it has been a wonderful journey and a lot of work that has been totally worth it. No luck about it. However, the song still communicates so much, I still love it.

And I love you, JJ!

The Luckiest Lyrics
by Ben Folds

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me here
And where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?
And in a white sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you

Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away
I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know
That I am
I am
I am
The luckiest

A Whole 22 Hours

JJ finally got to come home this weekend! He flew in on Saturday evening and then left again on Sunday afternoon. It was great to have him home!!! We had to fit in a game of Skip Bo, which I had really missed. We used to play almost every day – either over my lunch break or in the evening. He was able to go to church with me on Sunday morning and it was nice to have him next to me the whole service (instead of preaching like he usually does.)

This week, he is in Wyoming. At least that’s where he is right now. I just got an e-mail from him saying that they may fly him out to another job later in the week. At least for a few days he is working with a quilt shop that also has an online store. I asked him if he could get me a discount. No word on that yet.

All is well on the home front. I actually lost over 3 pounds last week. What is up with that!? So I have definitely made my half way point now and have also lost 22 inches total. If it takes me the same amount of time to lose my second 37 pounds, I will reach my goal around Christmas or early January. Considering the holidays, it will probably be later than that, but I’ve been able to resist treats so far so you never know. Even if it’s not until early February, that will be the one year mark and I think that losing 74 pounds in a year is not too shabby.

Irony

One of the many, many reasons why I love my hubby is that we complement each other so well. As I mention in my profile, I am a "rule follower" and he's somewhat of a rebel. Occasionally, I recognize that I need to "let loose" and break a few rules. Maybe throw off my shoes in the middle of the floor with total abandon. (Gasp - can you imagine?) And accordingly, he at times benefits from my more organized nature. However, generally, he resists structure of any kind. Schedules? Doesn't follow them. My nice little "systems" that I dream up to help our lives run more smoothly? Ha! He scofs in the face of "systems"!

This is why I had a nice little chuckle yesterday when he e-mails me and tells me that he has to create a budget for a 2 million dollar a year company that he is working with this week. I'm sure he will do a great job, but if that company only knew what I know . . . But hey, now that I think about it, this might just work out just fine. We've never had any trouble actually writing a budget, just sticking with one. So maybe writing a budget that someone else will have to follow isn't such a tall order for him!!!

I'm a Loser

Hooray! After a few weeks of plateau I am a "loser" once again. I am now down 36 pounds and have one pound left before I am half way to my goal! I found I had to make an adjustment to when I was eating in order to get over that hump. I am now eating more at breakfast and my morning and afternoon snacks. This means dinner is rather small and no evening snack. I've been OK with a small dinner, but I'm really feeling the loss of that evening snack! On the nights where I just can't bear it, I have a cup of coffee or tea. Not the same, but it helps a little.

We're still not running the a/c at home and we've had a high of 103 degrees the last few days. I'm ready for September, to say the least. And the a/c in my car is now acting up. Well, I keep telling myself I'm preparing for Africa.

JJ's still doing OK, although starting to get homesick. He will probably finish the job he's on in Vermont on Friday and he MAY get to come home this weekend! I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but it looks like if he's in between jobs this weekend he'll come home on Saturday morning and have to leave again on Sunday afternoon. We're not sure where he'll head next. This job certainly keeps us on our toes! We appreciate your prayers while we are apart and JJ is traveling so much.

Where to start?

Well, it would be impossible to bring you all up to speed on all the goings-on around here so I'll give you the highlights.

JJ is in Vermont (well, actually right this second he's probably in Maine but I will explain that in a minute). He got a job with a company that does small business consulting. It is 100% travel and he left on July 4th for his training in Chicago. His first job was last week for a company in Vermont. He really enjoyed the work, but is exhausted. They work long days and he is getting very little sleep. Thankfully, this weekend, he was able to go see a friend of ours who is an intern this summer in New Hampshire. You know all those New England states are so close together so he drove down to NH yesterday and went to church with his friend today. Then they drove up to Maine to see the ocean and some lighthouses. He'll drive back to VT tonight and probably work on the same job there tomorrow but then they are probably going to send him off on another assignment - only the Lord knows where. Thankfully he will only be doing this until school starts at the end of August. He may even get to come home for a weekend in between now and then, but there are no promises.

Meanwhile, I've been trying to keep myself busy so that I don't throw a pity party (and I am The Queen of pity parties). But so far, so good. I had something going on every night last week (except Wed. when my stomach was feeling a little cruddy.) I caught both plays that ACU put on for the Shakespeare Festival, although the comedy wasn't Shakespeare at all (I still don't really get that.) But it didn't matter because the comedy, The Triumph of Love, was terrific. It was theater in the round and the set was great, the acting was great and it was a wonderful night of free entertainment and the air conditioning was plentiful (a very big factor for me since we still haven't turned ours on.) Saturday was the last showing of Romeo and Juliet and it was done in a more modern way. The set and the creative way it was used was fascinating - probably my favorite part about the production. The acting was also good, but the language less accessible. I'm not one of these super-intellectual types so I really don't get some of the flowery language. Maybe if I sat down with the script in front of me for awhile. Anyway, I still enjoyed it and again, it was a nice distraction.

The new church JJ filled in for a few times before he left is still taking good care of me. I decided to attend there while he's gone because it's a small group of believers where I won't get lost in the shuffle and they are very much a community, which is what JJ and I have been looking for. I will have to tell you more about our night of country dancing with them some other time. . .

Overall, we're doing great. As soon as he gets his first paycheck, even better. (Transitioning jobs really stinks because of that lag between checks!)

I'm learning all kinds of stuff in the Beth Moore study and am enjoying my quiet time with the Lord.

Now I'm off to catch up on all your news! When I took a hiatus from my blog, I have to confess I didn't really check up on you all either. However, I have repented and turned from my evil ways and, for what it's worth, will now be back on the scene.

I'm Coming Back - I Promise

I've been taking a little blogging break - I'm not exactly sure why. I just couldn't face my site for some reason. I had a little writer's block on a few posts I attempted, plus the fact that I have so much to catch up on I'm a little overwhelmed.

It may also have to do with the fact that JJ's taken a job that will keep him traveling possibly until school starts, which is another 7 weeks or so and I haven't wanted to put that in print. If I post it here, then it is really happening. I will have to supply details later, but I did want you to know that I will return to my usual blogging self shortly.

Enjoy your summer!

Too Much News

Well, I've not done a good job of posting this week, mainly because we went out of town Monday night and drove back Tuesday night and I've been trying to catch up ever since. JJ's granddaddy passed away and we drove to a town about 3 hours to be with the family. Everyone was doing surprisingly well and the service was a good one. We found out several things about granddaddy that we didn't know and it was great to look through some pictures and listen to stories about him. It turns out that he played football for Texas A&M and was apparently really good. That's one of those things you'd think you would know about someone, but he was very quiet and did not share a lot about his life.

It's funny how different families respond differently to grief. JJ and his brothers decided to go golfing the morning of the funeral because their granddaddy taught them how to golf on the course there in town. My mother-in-law and her sister always get their nails done when they get together so all the girls headed to the salon while the guys were on the golf course. At first I felt bad going when we were "supposed to be" grieving, but then it occurred to me that sometimes self-care is a good way to deal with stress. So we all got our hair and nails done. I finally got my hair cut after months of thinking about it - over 4 inches in length. I will have to post a picture when my father-in-law e-mails them to us.

There is much more news from this week, but I'm not sure I have the energy to go into it all. Let's just say that there have been some developments on the job front already, although they may be temporary situations. We'll just keep praying that we can get some kind of stability going soon. Transition is our middle name now and it is for the birds. I can't ignore, however, how the Lord remains faithful and is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow - even when my life changes every day!

Righty or Lefty?

I found this right brain/left brain test online and thought it would be fun to try. I was pretty sure I was left brained, but was surprised at how many answers I felt like I landed pretty "middle of the road" depending on circumstances. That's why these tests are hard to take. I start getting analytical and breaking things down. In such and such a circumstance, I'm like this, that or the other. (See how left brained I am?) Anyway, here are the results. Feel free to take it and come back to tell us all about your brain.

Oh, and if you'll notice, the percentages below add up to 108%. I'd like to think that has something to do with my intellect, but the test says it's because they measure each side separately. Whatever.

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (38%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (70%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

No Breaks for the Preacher Man

If you've been reading for very long, you've heard me mention the "Little Country Church". It's been a challenge serving there from day one because it never was a really good fit for us. I could go into a lot of detail here, but I think I'll spare you and just say that we will now no longer be going back to that church. We wanted to leave and find a place where we were better suited, but the way this all went down was still painful. We don't quite understand what happened, as the best reasons they could come up with were that JJ said "I think" too much, he spoke too softly, and I had stopped coming with him for the past few weeks. The preachers that had come in the past often did not bring their wives and so we didn't think it was a problem.

So now we're stuck in a double delimma. We need some income and we need a church home. JJ started working in a hotel last week and I really won't go into detail here. Let's just say that this job is less than ideal. We think that we'll have enough "fill in" preaching jobs to get us through the summer, but this is not ultimately what we want. We want a community. I am praying that this is one of those times when I cannot see an easy answer but the Lord is saying, just wait, I've got it solved. Beth Moore said in one of her videos from "A Heart Like His" that sometimes when we pray we feel we need to offer the Lord solutions to our problem - like he needs our help. Well, Lord, I don't have any suggestions and you don't need them anyway.

Please send a prayer up on our behalf today. JJ's situation is a little tricky because he's got to find something he can do while taking a full load of master's level courses in a town where the job market just stinks in general. Frankly, we are just tired. Tired of trying to make ends meet, tired of trying to find a church body where we "fit", tired of transition, tired of not knowing. I know we need a little perspective. All I need to do is go look at my teammate Kevin's blog and see how much people are struggling in Mwanza, Tanzania just to make it through the day. But that doesn't change my reality and that is that we still have a problem that needs solving. And just a few days ago I posted on how God is bigger than anything we face. I know this is true. It's just hard to wait.

Patience, Mary, Patience

I hope you all don't get sick of Beth Moore by the time I'm done with this study, because I have a feeling I'll be sharing quite a bit about David in the next 8 weeks or so. Last night in our group, we started talking about preparation and how many of the "heroes" in scripture had a time of growth and being with the Lord before they were called to do what they are so famous for. Obviously, David was the first one who came to mind since we're studying him. Think of how many hours he had alone with God when he was out tending those sheep. Many of the Psalms were written during this quiet time in David's life. He also got to practice his "battle skills" on the lion and the bear!

Think about Moses and the years he had to spend as a shepherd before the Lord sought him out in the form of the burning bush. Those shepherding years were certainly not as thrilling as parting the Red Sea, and yet, they had to come first so that Moses would be ready for that very moment. Samuel was raised by the priest Eli - what better preparation could he have than that? And the list goes on and on. Even our Lord Jesus had quiet times to be with the Father and "refill his cup".

So what's the point? The point is something that I needed to hear and I hope it's something you can use too. JJ and I feel a bit stuck because we want to be in Africa. We felt that the Lord was calling us here for JJ to continue his education and so that we would be better prepared for the field, but sometimes it's just hard to wait. But then I think of all these great men and the times in their lives that they were waiting for bigger things. They didn't know what was coming their way. They didn't know what they were being prepared for. The truth is, neither do we. But I can trust in the Lord's perfect timing and his plan for us - that when we're ready, He's going to use us in a way that will glorify Him. And I can be looking for ways that He can use me today, even in the middle of West Texas. Now if I can just get my head out of the sand so I can respond when he calls . . .

I've Got Mail!

I added a little something new today that you probably wouldn't notice if I didn't point it out. You can now e-mail me to a new account I set up just for my blogging friends! The address is heart4tz@yahoo.com (tz is Tanzania) and you'll find the "e-mail me" button when you click on "view my complete profile". I wanted to be more accessible in case anyone wanted to send me a message that they might not want posted for the entire world to see. (Of course, this is assuming that more than 5 or 6 people read this site and I'm pretty sure that's not the case!) Anyway, e-mail me! I'm listening!

I Did Survive

Well, as you can see from my lack of posts this week, it was a busy, crazy, very full week. This was week 2 of the Doctor of Ministry students being in town, which means it was the second week of taking care of housing, food, and general class stuff. It was also moving week for our office. My boss likes to point out that "move" is a four-letter word. You would think that moving down the hall would be simple enough, but we found out that this was not the case. But you know, we survived and all is almost back to normal in our little corner of the world.

Apparently, not only did I survive, I also lost 3 lbs. these past 2 weeks. How I managed to stay away from the donuts, muffins, danish & cookies I served these past few weeks I will never know. I only have 1 more week of having to purchase and serve all the yummy foods I cannot eat. If I made it this far, I can make it one more week. I drank a lot more coffee, that's for sure (mostly decaf because caffeine dehydrates you - did you know this?) Of course, I ignore this little fact when I indulge in my daily dose of Diet Cherry Coke. A girl has to have her vices.

So here's the big picture:




Do you see that? 30 pounds! Yikes! And, I did do a tiny bit of shopping last night and found out that I am 2, count 'em 2 dress sizes down! (And the crowds go wild!) Thank you very much!

More from the Giant-Slayer

David & Goliath is such a familiar story and yet I really got so much out of it when we studied it in this Beth Moore series. Another verse that struck me was I Samuel 17:37. David is talking to King Saul, convincing him that he can take Goliath on. He has "practiced" on a lion and a bear that attacked his sheep and he says, "The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." This is another great "fill-in-the-blank" verse that we can draw on. I could say that the Lord who delivered me from unemployment will deliver me from job stress. Or the Lord who delivered me from the dilemma of what ministry our family should be involved in will deliver me from the uncertainty of the decisions we need to make in that very ministry! How would you fill in these blanks?

My God is SO BIG!

Last Monday night, I started the Beth Moore study "A Heart Like His" about the life of King David. I only know 2 of the ladies there since it's at a church that I don't usually attend (one girl is a friend that JJ goes to school with and one is my neighbor that I invited to come along), but I'm looking forward to getting to know other ladies in the group.

My favorite lesson this week was the lesson on David and Goliath. One verse jumped out at me. I Samuel 17:45 says, "David said to the Philistine, 'You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied.'" You know what I thought when I read this? I thought of the obstacles facing me this week and jotted down this sentence in the margin of my workbook: "Satan, you come against me with a stressful move (we're moving offices tomorrow), 20 men who will need my attention (Doctor of Ministry students who are starting classes this week), a continental breakfast that I'm doing for 3 weeks in a row, and the fear of failure - BUT I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty! Beth puts it this way: "measure the size of your obstacle against the size of your God". Well, when you put it that way, the score is obstacle, itty-bitty microscopic crumb vs. my move-a-mountain, resurrected Lord of all creation. No contest!

A Walk Down Transparency Lane

Oh-so-brave Melodee posted pictures of her drivers licenses, what weight she claimed to be on said licenses, and what her actual weight was at the time. While I have a selective memory and choose not to remember the poundage of each of these precious moments, I decided it would be fun to post a similar reminiscence of my licenses from many different states. Actually, some of these go back to high school, and while I cannot find my license from back then, I do have my activity ticket photos. So join me in my journey down memory lane. . .

This first photo is of me in the fall of '90 when I was a junior. I had never in your wildest imagination been what you call a "bean pole", but this is the year that I started putting on more weight. It got progressively worse as the year went on. So near the end of that school year, I decided it was time to put a stop to that and I started doing aerobics tapes at home and did the Slim Fast thing. I wouldn't recommend it as I've heard it's not very healthy, but it worked for me at the time, because as you can see, I'm quite a bit slimmer in my senior activity card picture. (BTW, you can also see why I've never cut my hair short again. This is THE most unfortunate haircut of my entire life.)

Although it is a bit fuzzy, I promise, this really is me. I can hardly believe I was ever THAT skinny. I think around 120 - 125 lbs. JJ says I look too skinny. I'm inclined to disagree. I don't know if I'll ever be there again, but how realistic is it to be able to get back to what I weighed in high school? I'm not putting that kind of pressure on myself. I set my goal at 130. If I get there and I'm happy with how I look, hey, it's just a number, right?
I stayed right around this weight for several years. But then I got married. (No blaming here, just the facts, ma'm.)



This is my driver's license photo from the state of Maryland, where we moved in 1999. Love those giant spectacles.









This is from my Missouri license in 2002, I think. (Correct me if I'm wrong here, mom.) I'm still surprised at how thin my face looks, even though you're able to see the beginnings of a double chin. I think I must be carrying my weight outside the boundaries of this pic, because on my license I have listed 170 lbs. I think that was pretty accurate.







This is where things start getting scary. This is my Kansas license from 2003, I think. Love those bangs, and now there's no doubt about that double chin goin' on. It says I weigh 130 lbs., but I'm thinkin' that was left over from my info. I gave them on my previous KS license because 1) there's no way that I'm 130, and 2) there's no way I would have fibbed THAT BIG.



Folks, this is when telling the truth is NOT fun. This is my most recent, Washington state license. (No, I haven't gotten a TX license yet. So sue me.) And now I'm not tellin' the weight because that hits just a little too close to home! I mean, I'm all for transparency, but there's a limit, OK?

I will survive

My glorious, handsome, oh-so-sexy husband decided to share this little gem with me today. I definitely think you guys should watch this video.

(Can you tell that JJ wrote this himself? Of course I think he's handsome and oh-so-sexy, but doesn't this post make more sense knowing he wrote it?)

Good Morning, America!

I found out this week that Good Morning America has been doing stories on LA Weightloss. So Wednesday, when JJ and I went to weigh in, one of the girls came up to us and asked if she could submit our names to possibly appear on the show! They are specifically looking for couples who are doing the program together. Would that not be the coolest? I must not get my hopes up. (But it would be a neat experience, wouldn't it?)

Speaking of weight loss, Melodee at The Amazing Shrinking Mom is hilarious. If you have ever battled with emotional eating, you need to read this entry. Not only is she a very gifted writer, she also has this uncanny ability to tell the TRUTH!

Show and Tell

As long as I'm sharing pictures, I'll post another. This is my latest mosaic, a picture frame I made for a recent graduate. After I finished, I wished I had used yellow grout instead of sand colored. I think it would have made it "pop". But overall, I'd say it turned out pretty well and the girl I gave it to seemed to like it, so I'd call it a sucess. Now, what will be my next project?

I Do Exist!

OK, I finally got the pictures back from the disposable camera that I was using and, as expected, many of them did not turn out well. I did manage to salvage a few. But the pictures I was most excited about did not get printed out at all. JJ and I took some "progress pictures" every couple of weeks to chart our weight loss and his came out but mine didn't. (Hey, I smell something fishy here. . .)

Anyway, since I do finally have some pictures to share, I thought I'd include a pic from JJ's birthday dinner at Red Robin. This was taken at the end of March, so we've lost several pounds since then, but I'll post it so that those of you who do not know me will now have a face with a name. (Interesting how after I've gone on and on about our weight loss the first picture I post is of JJ eating his birthday sundae! But hey, if you can't have a few bites of ice cream on your birthday, when can you?)

My Social Fix

Since moving here in December, we have not had nearly the "hang out with friends time" that we have gotten in the past. Pretty much everywhere we've moved we've had people to play cards with, watch movies with or just talk, talk, talk. It's been a bit harder here because we have not been "plugged in" to a church family. But this past weekend was just so great - it really "hit the spot" for JJ and I.

Friday night we went swimming in our complex's pool. We waited until the sun went down and just floated in the water, looking at the stars. It was really relaxing and nice to get off the couch for a change!

Saturday, we met some friends at a coffee house nearby because one of the guys is going up to NH for an internship this summer and it was our chance to say goodbye. This was the highlight of the weekend. Some of the folks who were there I'd spent some time with and some were fairly new to me, but it was a great mix of people. We talked about some "graduate school" kind of stuff (which I can usually follow for awhile anyway) but then some goofy stuff too. We actually had a little mini sing along of some favorite Muppet's tunes like "Rainbow Connection" and "You Can't Live With 'Em". (Rolf the Dog sings this one in one of the movies. I can't remember which one.) It was so nice to find some people who are just as cheesy as I am. Very rarely as an adult do you find people you can really be silly with! Then we went over to one of the girls' houses to talk some more! I actually stayed awake until 11:30. That's big. (It may have something to do with the nap I got in on Saturday afternoon!)

Then Sunday, while I sent JJ off to the Little Country Church, I went to church with a friend of mine here in town. JJ MADE me go because I needed a break from LCC - I still felt guilty that he had to go without me. But it was one of the Sundays when they don't do Sun. night service so he got to come home early. Anyway, I had a GREAT time in class. They have a women's class that involves a lot of sharing, etc. You know the kind. Oh, man, have I missed that. If you have that wherever you are, hold on to that and be thankful!!! I wish I could go there every Sunday. Then, I went to the new Chili's in town with some friends after church. Then JJ and I went swimming again that night. An all around great day.

Memorial Day I worked (I chose to take the holiday early so I could visit my family). But, some friends invited us to a barbeque at their house last night and we had a great time there, too! They have a pool in their backyard and we had a lot of fun playing with the kids and just watching them have a good time. So even though I had to work, it still felt like a holiday. This was one of those weekends that I could repeat again and again and not get tired of it. It was a real blessing. It reminded me that it's worth the extra effort to reach out to people and find a place to belong. It's harder, but life is so much richer. I know that this is at least a glimpse of the kind of community that the Lord intended.

Living and Dying at the Hilton

I went to church with a friend yesterday because I needed a break from the Little Country Church and we read this story, which is only slightly cheesy but makes a great point so I thought I'd share it with you anyway. It's an excerpt from Men's Secret Wars by Patrick A. Means.

Dick Bergstrom is a personal friend and president of ChurchHealth, a church consulting ministry. We meet for lunch on occasion, and at one such meeting last year Dick said, "Before we eat lunch, let me show you something. We can take my car." Curious, I asked him what we were going to see. "It's a giant object lesson," he said, smiling. Now I was really curious. Soon we pulled up in front of a large retirement complex. "My parents worked here one summer a few years ago," Dick said. "So I got an insider's view of this facility and how it works. Let me show you inside." Dick led me into a lavishly appointed reception area. Pile carpeting, fine furniture, and exquisite interior decorating gave me more the feel of a Hilton hotel than a retirement home.

"Boy," I said, "retirement homes have sure changed since I last saw one."

"This, my friend, is not just an ordinary retirement facility. This is one of the Cadillacs of the retirement world. But," he said, holding one finger in the air, "there is just one requirement for entry to this facility. Well, one, in addition to money," he said, laughing.

"What's that?" I asked.

"You can't have anything seriously wrong with you," he said, a Cheshire cat grin spreading across his face. He looked at me expectantly. "Doesn't that remind you of anything, Pat?"

I still didn't get it. I watched as a well-dressed couple in their seventies exited the elevator on the other side of the lobby and walked evenly down the hall toward the dining room.

"Let me give you a more complete picture,"Dick said. "This is one of the finest facilities of its kind. All the apartments are top of the line. The food is excellent. It's most retired folks' dream to move into a place like this. But it's only for people with no obvious physical problems. As soon as you develop a problem - say, you have trouble walking - the rules of the facility require you to move out. They have no nursing care here. If you need that kind of help, you have to move down the street to a much less desirable facility. Now does it remind you of anything?" he asked.

I nodded, finally getting the analogy. "Yeah," I said, "some churches are like that."

"But I haven't told you the best part yet," Dick said. "My parents told me that when residents first begin to develop a physical problem, many deliberately try to cover it up for fear that they'll be kicked out. A lot of these folks we see strolling around here looking fine go back to their rooms and collapse, glad that they've made it through another day without anyone finding out their secret!"

Now I saw the whole picture. It's the Pharisees' paradigm, a paradigm still perpetuated by some churches. In that paradigm the church isn't a hospital for the sick; it's a club for the healthy. The only problem is, if the sin disease we all carry breaks out in some obvious way in your life, you have a choice to make. You can cover up the symptoms and continue to act healthy, or you can leave.

I could understand why people would play elaborate cover-up games to stay in the center Dick showed me. The Hilton is certainly nicer than a nursing home. It felt very pleasant to be surrounded by all that interior decorating and all those attractive people. All it would cost me to stay is authenticity.

Topsy Turvey Two

Well, things are still pretty chaotic at work. While we had our offices cleared for the painters (except for the big furniture), we had the carpets cleaned too. But this meant that we ALSO had to move the furniture out. So I've been "working" where the student workers usually are in the reception area. It has been very difficult to get anything done since all of my files, papers, and supplies are spread from one corner of the floor to the other. Not to mention the fact that the storage closet has a very big desk in it, which prevents me from getting to anything that I might need in said closet.

I must mention, with chagrin, that the colors that my boss' decorator helped me choose for my office were hideous. I relunctantly told Mr. Boss Man that I was unhappy with them (he had not seen them because he was out of town). Within an hour, the decorator showed up to assess the situation. I wondered to myself how honest I should be and finally decided to lay it all out on the table. We walked into the room and I told her, "It kind of reminds me of . . . nausia". And it does. It is the exact shade of green your face turns right before you hurl. Looks totally different on the wall than on the sample. Don't you hate that? SO, we're repainting - one wall a bit darker (and much more palatable) shade of green and the other 3 a tan color called "Almond Brittle". I wonder how the people who name the colors of paint come up with all those? Once you've named about 5 shades of white, where do you go from there?

So the saga of the office version of "Fruit Basket Turnover" continues. I'll keep you posted.

Five Things

Oshee tagged me to do this meme quite a few days ago. Sorry I'm just getting around to it!

Five things in my car:
1. empty water jugs waiting to be filled up - The tap water here is gross.
2. sunscreen that's been there for at least a year
3. a silver shiny-reflective thing that's supposed to keep your car cooler that I never use
4. lots of pennies
5. surprisingly little trash (other than some crumpled up receipts and gum wrappers)

Five things in my purse:
1. my cell phone which needs to be recharged
2. a measuring tape b/c I'm looking for baskets that are 7 inches deep or less
3. the flight itenerary from the trip I took last weekend
4. arbonne samples a friend from work gave me
5. hubby's food journal from LA Weightloss - See, even when you don't have kids you end up with other people's stuff in there!

Five things in my closet:
1. 2 new pair of flip-flops I got at Old Navy yesterday for $5 - cha-ching!
2. a laundry bag full of hand-washables I haven't been able to face
3. picnic basket that we won at LA Weightloss - It came with a cheese board and wine glasses!
4. "safari hats" we used at a global development training we went to last year
5. one box of Christmas stuff that I kept when I thought we were going to Africa soon - everything else I gave away

Five things in my fridge:
1. strawberries - YUM!
2. lots of low-fat or fat-free products - cream cheese, dressings, string cheese, skim milk
3. zuchinni - I love the stuff. I was glad to hear that I had to eat 4 veggies a day on the program b/c I wouldn't go to the trouble of fixing veggies just for myself before now. (JJ's a carnivore.)
4. Diet Cherry Coke - I switch between that, Diet Coke with lime and Diet Dr. Pepper
5. Ground turkey - I was surprised at how easily hubby went along with substituting this for ground beef.

Five things in my head:
1. "Hole in My Head" by the Dixie Chicks. I can't help it. I hear the phrase "in my head" and the song just leaps to mind.
2. The absolute chaotic mess that is my office right now and how I'm going to have to face it come Monday morning. I will blog about this later.
3. BIG decisions we're going to have to make in the next few months about education, career choices and timing for going to Africa
4. A job opportunity that JJ may have preaching in a town about an hour away - full time as opposed to filling in, which is what he's doing now
5. Worries about my sibling, Val. I think one of the hardest things that Jesus asks us to do is not worry.

Thanks for tagging me, oshee!

A Shout Out

How in the world could I have forgotten to give a shout out to my girl Shalee in OP? I got to talk with her ever-so-briefly in the hall at church when I was visiting on Sunday. She's the one who got me started on this whole blogging thing. If you've never been to Shalee's Thoughts, you should check it out. She's not only funny, she's got a great heart and is really passionate about raising godly kids.

We started talking about my whole weight loss issue (thanks for noticing btw) and then it dominated the coversation. After I walked away I realized I talked about me the whole time and did not get to ask her about Mr Right and the kids, her job, etc. We had to hurry to get to Sunday school class. So now I feel like a heel. Sorry Shalee - I'll have to call you to do the catching up "in person" so-to-speak!

And I keep finding out that more of my friends are reading my blog than I thought. You can leave a comment, people! Even if you don't have anything of gigantic import to say! I won't laugh at you. And besides, even if I did, you'd never know! =0)

Topsy Turvey

I got to work this morning and discovered that painters will be coming in tomorrow. Which, of course means that I had to clear out my office and my boss' office to make way for the painters. Thank the Lord for my coworkers - we made pretty quick work of the job. Life is not dull around here, that's for sure.

We will be playing musical chairs with our offices in June and this is just the beginning of all of that mess. The good news is that I got to choose the colors of the walls in my new office (two tones of a light sage green, the accent wall slightly darker than the others) AND I get a window now too! The view's not that great, but I do have some nice trees to look at so I can watch the squirrels. (Squirrels are the bane of my mother's existence right now, so I know she will not find this news nearly as appealing as I do! The little critters have been getting into her potted plants in the back yard lately.)

And, BTW, my trip to Kansas City was lots of fun. Friday night my sister came over and she and my mom and dad and I all played Texas Hold 'Em. It's the first time I've ever played and we had a lot of fun, even though my dad won as we all figured he would. I got in a few quick visits with some friends, too, but it was nice to be with my family just for no particular reason. There were no major agendas, tasks to accomplish, or events to attend (other than church). And it was so nice sitting next to my parents in church, especially singing with them. I miss how much my family sings, just around the house or in the car. So it was a great time to get my "family fix"!

I've got to brag on my hubby, too. He brought me daisies when he picked me up in Dallas, AND I came home to a clean house. Wow! What a gift!

And finally, I have to mention, that even though I was away from home I managed to lose 1.6 pounds since last Monday. Life is good.

We Are Not Alone

I had the opportunity to volunteer at ACU's graduation celebration last Friday night. It is the school's centennial year and so the party was extra big. It was a perfect night for it - the weather was gorgeous. There was a breeze, but it wasn't too windy (like it often is in west Texas). It was warm, but not too hot. So with these beautiful conditions and a free meal you'd think I was pretty content. I'm ashamed to say that wasn't the case.

With so many people participating, there were lots and lots of chairs and tables under several large tents. One of my jobs as a volunteer was to help fold the chairs up and stack them properly on the tables. Not too challenging. I helped out along with other volunteers in one tent, then moved on to the next. After we finished the second tent, I was told to go work on another tent. I went and started thinking everyone was coming in a minute. Well, I guess they all went to another location to work because I folded and folded chairs and no one came to help.

I started out feeling really good about volunteering my time. I had realized lately that my time was being spent entirely too selfishly and I needed to do something for someone else. But the longer I folded those chairs, the worse my attitude got. I kept thinking, where's everyone else? Why am I the only one doing this? I didn't sign up for this much work, especially to do all by myself! (I can't believe my perspective was so bad.) I even called JJ on his cell phone to tell him to come and pick me up. I wasn't about to slave away by myself. Thankfully, he didn't answer the phone and I got a second chance to correct my demeanor. I was almost done folding the chairs for that particular tent when a man came along and started to help me.

It was amazing how quickly my thought process changed. I reasoned, well, this will go a lot faster with 2 of us. We started talking and I was distracted from my lousy thoughts. Pretty soon, a whole group joined us and we made short work of what was left to do. When JJ called back, I told him I'd call him later so that I could make sure all the work had been done. Amazing what a little help can do.

I couldn't help but think that this is what the Lord must have had in mind when he created the church. How easily we lose perspective when we are alone and all we can perceive is a huge problem ahead. I mean, really, how bad was my situation? I was folding chairs for heaven's sake! But even the company of one more person made my task not only easier but a lot more enjoyable. How wonderful it is to have someone else along to help us carry our burdens!

If only we would turn to each other (and our Lord) more often when we need a little encouragement or a helping hand. I just picture Jesus up in heaven looking down on us and shaking his head saying, "Look around you child. Help is around every corner if you'll just ask."

Dorky Shoes and a Dorky Song

This morning as I was getting dressed, I told JJ that I was wearing dorky shoes today and I didn't care. His response to me was, "Well, you go Jimmy Crack Corn!" From that point on, I was doomed. All morning I've had this going through my head:

Wearing dorky shoes and I don't care,
Wearing dorky shoes and I don't care,
Wearing dorky shoes and I don't care,
My master's gone away.

Then I start thinking, I have no idea what the original song means. Who is Jimmy and what in the world is "cracking corn"? And why would his master not want him to do that? Anyone have any ideas?

So, I've been posting my progress on my short-term weightloss goal, but now that I've met it, I thought I'd show you the "big picture". Not too shabby for going on 15 weeks.

How Much, Lord?

I decided on Sunday that I must include this quote that JJ used in his sermon on my blog. It's something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. It's an excerpt from C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity. (I'm having a little trouble with the font, and frankly, I've lost patience so you'll have to forgive the irregularities.)

The ordinary idea which we all have before we become Christians is this. We take as the starting point our ordinary self with its various desires and interests. We then admit that something else – call it ‘morality’ or ‘decent behavior,’ or ‘the good of society’ – has claims on this self: claims which interfere with its own desires. What we mean by ‘being good’ is giving in to those claims. Some of the things the ordinary self wanted to do turn out to be what we call ‘wrong’; well, we must give them up. Other things turn out to be what we call ‘right’: well, we shall have to do them.

But, we are hoping all the time that when all the demands have been met, the poor natural self will still have some chance, and some time, to get on with its own life and do what it likes. In fact, we are very much like an honest man paying his taxes. He pays them all right, but he does hope that there will be enough left over for him to live on. Because we are still taking our natural self as the starting point.

The Christian way is different: harder and easier. Christ says, ‘Give me all. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want you. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there. I want to have the whole tree down. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked – the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.

All I can say is, Wow. Is this within my capacity? It must be, otherwise the Lord wouldn't ask it of me. Lord, help me to discover how to let go of myself and my desires and put on Yourself instead.

Kansas City, Here I Come!

I hear they've got some crazy little women there and I get to visit some!

Hooray! I'm going home in exactly 10 days and it's one of these fun, spur-of-the moment kind of visits. (Well, 10 days is spur of the moment for a "planner" like me anyway!) I have 2 vacation days that I have to use up before May 31st (one left over from Spring Break that I never took and one that I'm taking early for Memorial Day.) It's great to have that flexibility!

Since it's a short, 4 day trip, I get to fly up and back. I really like flying. I've always loved the excitement of being on a trip, walking through the airport and wondering where everyone is going. No matter how many times I do it, I always feel like a kid on her first plane ride.

This is a trip that I'm taking by myself. My sweet, ornery husband will not be accompanying me and he will be sorely missed. But this will be a great opportunity for me to be with my family, one that I wasn't expecting and one that I really think I need right now. (I just looked up ornery to check the spelling and the official definition doesn't mean anything close to the way I use it. My sweetie is ornery in a Dennis the Menis kind of way. It's very hard not to like my JJ.)

Anyway, I feel really good about taking this trip. It's one of those times when I had an opportunity to seize the day and I didn't dilly-dally or reason myself out of it. I called my mom, checked on the dates, and booked the ticket. Very empowering. I'm constantly booking tickets for my boss (he does consultations all over the country), but it was really cool to be looking up my own flight options and following through on the plans for this trip for me.

And for those of you who are wondering where my little tickerfactory graph has gone, I have updated it for your viewing pleasure. Yes, I did finally reach my goal, even though it was a week late.

My First "Hair-pulling" Day

I've been at my job for about 2 months now and today was the first time I actually wanted to bang my head against the wall, or maybe the computer screen. Not bad, really, as new jobs go. All will turn out fine, especially since my boss realizes I'm under a pretty unrealistic time crunch and said it won't be a big deal if this project I'm working on doesn't get finished on time. Thank the Lord I have an understanding boss! (I wonder if I weeded out any of those gray hairs that seem to be multiplying on my head?!!!)

So, needless to say, today this girl needs some fun. I found this little movie trivia game online and thought it'd be something different to add. I thought the trivia was pretty easy (I got 9/10 right), but I probably just got lucky!! JJ's the real movie nut in the family. Anyway, if you want to try a quick movie quiz, hop on over there!

I added a few new links to my blogroll (was that all the way last week?) and now I added a few more - Jim Martin and Mike Cope, both ministers and both have some great things to say. Enjoy.

Murphy's Laws for Mothers

Although I am not a mother, I know some of my visitors are. I got a kick out of this list so I thought I'd share it with you.

1. The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week.

2. Leakproof thermoses -- will.

3. The chances of a piece of bread falling with the grape jelly side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

4. The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends.

5. The shirt your child must wear today will be the only one that needs to be washed or mended.

6. Gym clothes left at school in lockers mildew at a faster rate than other clothing.

7. The item your child lost, and must have for school within the next ten seconds, will be found in the last place you look.

8. Sick children recover miraculously when the pediatrician enters the treatment room.

9. Refrigerated items, used daily, will gravitate toward the back of the refrigerator.

10. Your chances of being seen by someone you know dramatically increase if you drive your child to school in your robe and curlers.

Vacation Dilemma

Do you know any couples that have completely opposite vacation styles? One likes to relax and the other likes to go, go, go and see and do everything. I'm afraid that JJ and I are one of these couples. He is the "relaxer" and I, like my dad, am a "doer". Our 10th anniversary is coming up this July, we still have no idea of what we are going to do, and the pressure is on.

I mean, this is a big year and we both want to do something really special, but we disagree on what that something special might be. We have very little money to work with (I always thought we'd have our act together after being married this long!) and so we're going to have to drive somewhere close. We are about 3 hours away from Dallas, so to me this seems like a good option. I'd like to see some art museums and maybe a play. I'd be fun to find a place that plays jazz or go to a concert. But JJ's afraid that Dallas = shop. He wants to go to a bed and breakfast or a cabin on a lake. Now, please understand, I'm not enumerating all these facts in order to complain, I'm just trying to give you an idea of the situation.

Does anyone have any ideas? What are your favorite vacations or compromises that you've made that have worked for your families? I just want to make sure that if we compromise, it's not "giving in" so much that neither one of us is happy with the outcome! So, feedback, please!!!!!

Finally! Furniture!

I made a few great finds at a garage sale last weekend. I don't like to accumulate junk (especially since we decided to go to Africa) but I couldn't pass these two things up. I bought a round drop-leaf table that has some really cute details for $15 and a rocking chair for $10. Not bad, eh? Well, I have to admit that they both need quite a bit of work, but I just love to give old objects a new life so I think I'll have a lot of fun with these projects.

We have had a very interesting furniture situation at our house this year. We thought we were going to be on the mission field and so when we moved in with my in-laws to do fund raising, we sold all of our furniture. We wanted to have local furniture in Africa rather than ship American furniture so that the Tanzanians would feel more comfortable in our home. Great concept, except we didn't go to Tanzania as soon as we thought and so when we moved to Abilene, we found ourselves in an empty apartment. Well, not completely empty. We had a bed and a TV cart with our electronic equipment on it. So the bed became a couch and a table too. Wow, talk about multi-functional furniture! After we'd been here for a month and a half or so, we finally met someone with a truck (even if we bought used furniture we had no way to get it home before that)! So we got a couch and a coffee table too and that made dinner time much easier. We're slowly adding to our collection as cheaply as possible since we'll be selling almost everything again in a few years when we actually do end up going to Tanzania (Lord willing)!

One thing we've really realized is how little you really do need to get by. How much extra stuff we surround ourselves with. And sometimes I feel like the rich man in the parable that Jesus tells who torn down his barns to build a bigger one. The more stuff we get, the bigger house we need to hold it in and the more organizing baskets and furniture and do-dads that we need to manage all the stuff!

While finding this furniture at the price I did is a real blessing, I pray that the Lord does not let me get out of control accumulating much more than I need!

Flowers, a Crown, a Hobo, and Old Friends

I have fallen behind, friends, and it's been hard to get myself back on the horse again. I was posting so frequently there at first. Maybe I'm more of a sprinter than a marathon runner? Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself to say something witty and entertaining. Well, I can sum up the highlights of this week with the following 4 events:

• I got flowers from my boss for Administrative Assistant's Day. I was so surprised and felt very special! This is where I'd insert a picture if I had a digital camera. Darn.
• JJ and I got to go to a Casting Crowns concert for free because a friend gave us some tickets! And they were good seats too! Nicole Nordeman was there as well. I really enjoyed it, although it took my ears quite awhile to recover from all that NOISE!
• A very good friend, we'll call him Spazzy McGee, came to visit this week. He had been helping with the rebuilding in New Orleans and caught a few rides to make his way to Abilene. We did a little karaoke one night with him and some other friends so I got my "fix". He's just been making his way around the state visiting various friends, catching a ride when he can and taking the good old Greyhound too. It was great to have him here, especially with us still being so new in town.
• I have gotten in touch with a few old friends. One from my time as a missionary intern in Mexico City and two from elementary school (we figured out that it's been 22 years since we've seen each other). I got in touch with all of them in a really cool "isn't it a small world" kind of way and that made it a really nice surprise.

I will weigh in tomorrow and this will be the official end of my short-term goal. Here's where I was on Wednesday:




So it looks like I won't be making my goal, unless by some miracle I lose 3 lbs. by tomorrow, BUT I will persevere! Look out fat cells, you're toast!

Four More Weird Things

Aggiejenn at Reflecting Him tagged me to write about six weird things about myself and so I decided that rather than ignore her tag because I'd already done 6 weird things, that I would just do a twist on the meme. I really wanted to "honor" her tag, especially since it's the first time I've specifically been tagged by someone! Woo-hoo! Soooooo, without further ado, here are 4 weird things about places we've lived because this post was getting entirely too long to do 6. (I must add that the apartment we're in now is the 11th place we've lived in almost 10 years so now I've got to figure out which 4 to write about. Decisions, decisions.)

1. Our first apartment was in a somewhat-seedy part of town and we had some interesting things happen while we were there, and now that I think about it, they all happened in the middle of the night.

• People would knock on our door at 2:00 am asking for cigarettes.
• A woman knocked on our door after being attacked by her boyfriend. She ran away before we could help her and we later found out she wasn't badly hurt and got help from the police soon after that.
  
• A drunk guy drove into our parking lot to drop someone off and then passed out with his car running. We had to call the police to come and get him (at first, I thought he was dead). The first thing the guy did when he "came to" was flip off the police. Very couth.

2. Our fourth house was a parsonage (preacher's house) in a small town that had one stop light. Before we moved in, they told us we could paint the interior any color we wanted. Big mistake. I chose a bright blue for the living room and a bright yellow for the kitchen. The kitchen wasn't so bad, but what in the world was I thinking with the bright blue? When we moved out, it took the youth group many coats of paint to "undo" our artwork.

3. In this same small one-stoplight-town we did actually have our own grocery store. We did not shop there long, however, because one day I witnessed something which deeply disturbed me. As I walked past the meat department, I saw that the butcher was actually cutting meat and smoking at the same time. And the cigarette had burned waaaaaaaay down and he had not "tapped the ashes off" of the end of the cigarette. (Sorry, never been a smoker so I don't know the lingo.) Basically, picture a man bent over a bunch of uncovered meat with these ashes dangling dangerously from his mouth. Needless to say, I started driving to a neighboring town about 30 miles away for most of our groceries after that.

4. When we lived in Maryland in house number 6, we very nearly burned our house down. On one quiet night at home, we decided to start a nice fire in the fireplace and cuddle up on the couch. JJ decided that he wanted to burn a pizza box and when he put it in, he accidentally knocked the flu closed. Flames started shooting out the front of the fireplace and licking the mantle. We frantically looked around for a way to put the fire out. JJ found a tupperware container full of water in the kitchen sink and ran with it to put the fire out. The trouble is, the water sloshed on the floor and he slipped and fell. He slid straight into the coat closet. By the time he got up and ran to the fireplace with what little water he had left, the box had burned up and the crises was over. Thankfully, there was not much damage done and now we are just left with a really funny story!

Now for an update on the whole weightloss thing. I've been remiss in my posting this week because I've been preparing for an out of town guest (woo-hoo!). So here's the whole scoop on the progress towards my goal.

My short-term goal is to lose 10 lbs. in 5 weeks, which would be next Friday. It looks like I will not meet my goal at this point, but this goal has served its purpose. You see, my total weightloss goal is 74.6 lbs. At first, when JJ set a temporary goal for himself I kind of wondered what the point was, but now that I've done the same (with some encouragement from Heather at One Woman's World) I see the value of it. I was losing at a rate of about 1.5 lbs a week and I set this goal to lose 2 lbs. a week so it would motivate me to exercise and it's done just that. But I wonder also if this has kept me from losing the weight because I'm building muscle. That's what I prefer to tell myself anyway.

So here's the "skinny" (pun intended). I have lost a total of 20.2 lbs and a total of 17" (adding up the # of inches I've lost from my bust, waist, hips and thighs). So even if I do not lose the 10 lbs. by next Friday, I have still "won". How can losing 20 lbs. be a bad thing? !!!!!!!!!!! I refuse to be discouraged about it!!!!!!! Yay me!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's PLAY!

Did you ever play "office" as a kid? Occasionally, when we tired of playing school, the neighborhood kids and I would. We'd shuffle paper around and make very official-looking marks and we felt quite important. This whole topic came to mind because of my new office job, you see. I realized what a child I can be when it dawned on me that one of my favorite things about work is my rolling chair. I get to roll back and forth between my desk and my file cabinet. And if no one is around, I push off and gleefully glide from one place to the other. (Yipee!) I also like my stamps. I just love to stamp a paper with the words "copy" or "paid". (I have black or purple ink to choose from - how cool is that!) I jam out to Carly singing "You're So Vain" or I crank out "Hit the Road Jack" or the Dixie Chicks. AND I bought some bubble gum scented bubbles to blow on the days when I'm feeling a little stressed or bored or someone has a reason to celebrate (like the doctoral students who pass their thesis defense).

Life's too short not to add these playful moments into my day. And they remind me not to take myself too seriously. I just hope that my coworkers don't start picking up on my behavior and have me committed! Maybe I can find someone who will play with me. . .

Ants on a Log and Other Wacky Foods

I have rediscovered celery & peanut butter. I really can't stand celery by itself, but add peanut butter and a few raisens and you have culinary magic, my friend. So I was eating this for lunch the other day (don't fret, the p.b. was low fat) and I told JJ that it'd been a long time since I'd had ants on a log. First, he was disgusted at what I was eating. (He makes it a general rule to stay away from anything green.) But then, he was impressed with the naming of my odd fare. (He thought I had made this name up myself.) I wanted to take the credit, but alas, I could not.

Then I started thinking about other odd foods or food combinations and odd names for food. A girl I knew in college used to like peanut butter and dill pickle sandwiches. Believe it or not, I tried this with sweet pickles and liked it. I don't eat it very often, just when I really feel like grossing JJ out. Then there's the snack I enjoyed growing up, bananas with cheese melted on top. Delish! And I hope I don't ruin these yummy cookies for anyone by telling this story, but a roommate of mine used to call no-bake cookies "cat grunt cookies".

Now, I know I don't have a ton of visitors or anything, but I thought it'd be fun to ask y'all if you had any odd dishes you like or funny names for food you'd like to share. After all, there is such a wide array of vittles out there to enjoy!

Easter Thoughts

Kevin has some great thoughts on the resurrection that I'm sure I could not top and so I'm not even going to try. Just go and check out what he has to say at On the Road Towards Mwanza. I knew we had Kevin on our missions team for a reason (other than the fact that he and Charity produce the most darling children!)

Happy Easter, everyone!

Six Weird Things About Me

Mel at Actual Unretouched Photo posted 6 weird things about her. I decided to join in the fun, although after compiling this list I don't know how really weird or entertaining all of this is. Anyway, here's my list. Take it or leave it.

1. I used to be a clown in high school. No, I’m not referring to a “class clown”. I actually dressed up as a clown for kids' birthday parties. A group of us went to nursing homes, too. You see, I didn’t really realize how dorky this was at the time. Why didn’t somebody tell me?
2. Because of the clown thing I know how to make balloon animals and juggle (although I’m pretty rusty at the juggling thing.)
3. After about 9:00pm, I turn into a pumpkin. If I am not doing anything active like playing cards with my Hubby or visiting all you lovely blog-type people on the net, I will fall asleep. If you ever come over to my house and stay late and I fall asleep, please do not be offended. I do this all the time.
4. I like to sing karaoke. I’m not that good, but it’s fun to watch other people make fools of themselves too. Especially JJ. My favorite songs of his are “I’m Too Sexy for My Shirt” and “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar”. I used to do “I Am Woman” but he pretty much ruined it for me by making it his song. Thanks a lot!
   
5. I have this weird thing about being consistent. Ex: I started this exercise tape and I noticed that sometimes, I do things in a mirror image to the aerobic ladies and sometimes I go right when they go right (which means we’re actually going in different directions, right?) After a few times, I couldn’t stand this and so I started doing everything in mirror image. And now I have to think about it every time. (I must add here, although it may be obvious, that I am the only person in my living room doing this tape. It makes no difference what direction I go in and yet, I must obsess.) Please see Where I Am on the Anal Scale for another example.
6. Most Sundays I go to Wal-mart. For fun. And most of the time, I don’t even buy anything. However, this is not a long-standing habit. This is because Little Country Church where Hubby preaches is in no-wheres-ville West Texas and we spend all day there on Sundays (we live far enough away that we don't want to pay the gas money to go bak and forth between morning and evening service). The only thing open in town is a few fast-food restaurants and the Wal-mart. This is a very sad tradition and yet I have come to accept it as a necessary part of not going completely and absolutely berserk with boredom every Sunday afternoon.

Me and Modern Technology

Yes, these 2 terms used to be mutually exclusive. But check this out. In the past month or so, I've stepped into the blog world AND learned how to use the "shared music" feature of iTunes at work. And last, but certainly not least, (can I get a drum roll please?) . . . ta da! I got a cell phone! Little old me! (Am I hearing groans of disappointment? What were you expecting? Rocket science?)

You've got to understand, I've never had one before! Even though JJ's had them for work purposes, I never could justify one for myself. I was beginning to feel like Wilma Flintstone, talking on that horn-shaped thing they had in those good ol' caveman days. And actually, when I told people I didn't have a cell phone, some of them looked at me like horns were growing out of my head!

So now it's my turn. It turns out that now I get one through my work. Ha! As I was reading thorough the manual (trying to figure out how the tricky little bugger works), I found some very helpful hints. Here are just a few:

• Do not dispose of your battery by fire or with hazardous or flammable materials.
• Never store your phone in temperatures less than 4 degrees or greater than 122 degrees.
• Do not drop, strike, or shake your phone severely (even when the person on the other end is acting like a complete moron).
  
• Do not use your phone in highly explosive areas as the phone may generate sparks. (I'll have to remember to stay away from all those highly explosive areas that I frequent!)
• Do not disassemble the phone.
• Never place your phone in a microwave oven as it will cause the battery to explode.

Well, I'm sure glad they told me. Now that you have this valuable information, go and do (or do not do) likewise.

You Know You're in West Texan When . . .

• You can invite someone to eat all in one word: "Squeat" (Let's go eat!).
• A large drink is approximately the size of a small lake. (Other terms for this size include "mamma jamma" and "herkin")
  
• Average female hair height is about 2 inches taller than all other states in the union.
• You hear the state name in every other commercial (it's "Texas size" or "Texas tough").
• You have restaurants with names like "Texas China". (Who eats there? Honestly!)
• There is a smorgasbord of road kill available. Choose from deer, wild hog, wild turkey, road runners, armadillos, skunks, and many, many more.
• When spring arrives, everything turns brown (from the dust storms)!
  
• You can refer to one person using the word "y'all".
• Watching prarie dogs popping out of holes in the ground is the entertainment while sitting at a stop light.
• Children actually say the pledge to the U.S. and the state flag. (Honor the Texas flag. I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one and indivisible. - Just in case you wanted to know.)
  
• You believe that in your town, there actually may be more cows than dogs.
• Using the Texas flag in your decor is considered very chic.
• When someone says they're "fixin'", they really aren't offering to repair anything.